One thing I realized today is how much love means to me. I always knew, but today I saw how to put it into words.

"I am nothing special; of this I am sure. I am a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me, and my name will soon be forgotten, but I've loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough."

This is how I view my life. Yes, I've often joked, and if you haven't heard it yet, ask me about it, cuz I enjoy telling this story, about me becoming "Dr. Dr. Hagans", and I would really like to be able to help other people with Psychiatry. But in all reality, what I have now is all I really want. My love to her, and her love toward me, that is the only legacy I want to leave behind.

Love is like the wind,
able to move silently into the soul,
and still change the world profoundly

That's my sad attempt at a description of love. But none-the-less, that's how I'd describe it.

"You are the answer to every prayer I've offered. You are a song, a dream, a whisper, and I don't know how I could ever live without you. I Love You Megan, more than you can ever imagine. I always have, and I always will."

That, and every other " " in this journal, is from the Notebook. I obviously edited the above quote, but I feel that it's still exactly how I feel about her. She is my breath, my heartbeat, my every thought. I couldn't live without her.

"Poets often describe love as an emotion that we can't control, one that overwhelms logic and common sense. That's what it was like for me. I didn't plan on falling in love with you, and I doubt if you planned on falling in love with me. But once we met, it was clear that neither of us could control what was happening to us. We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that happens only once, and that's why every minute we spend together has been seared in my memory, I'll never forget a single moment of it."

"I ne'er was struck before that hour
With love so sudden and so sweet,
Her face it bloomed like a sweet flower
And stole my heart away complete."

I'm glad I have friends I can admit this to. I cried reading the Notebook. I cried several times, for love, for hope, for fear, for horror, and for the future and present. I recommend this book for every one of you, but most definitely for those of you who know what love feels like, who know the feeling of needing someone completely, and the feeling of being needed.

October 29, 2007-until forever and always.

I Love You Megan Thurston, I Love You so very much. <3